Kobayashi Maru

We seem to be getting a full dose of that phrase around the house these days, or it’s twin “I’m going to do it all by MYself.” Which I suppose is to be expected. The Muppet is now 2 years and 8 months old - she’s almost ready to get a job. From climbing into and out of the car, to putting on her shoes and sockies, to turing on the TV, it is all about independence and being able to do it alone. It’s awesome to watch (unless one is in a hurry and then it borders on seriously annying).

But the newest thing in her life is her brand new “big girl bed”. When we moved into the new house the Muppet moved from her crib into a twin size bed (with side rails for safety). Now while the side rail will keep her from rolling out of the bed when she’s sleeping, it does absolutely nothing when it comes to keeping her in the bed - especially during nap time. In fact, just the other day about 30 minutes after I put her in said big girl bed for nap time she came walking back down the hall carrying a diaper and tells me that I need to change her diaper. I grabbed her hand, turned her around and told her that during nap time she wore a diaper so she could pee if she needed to without getting out of bed. But she turned to me and said, “no daddy…I pooped.”

That, i have to admit, changes things a bit and so I softened up a bit and told her “OK let’s get that poopy diaper off you.” I expected her to be very happy with this, but to my confusion she said to me, “no daddy, put a new diaper on me.” To which I assured her that this was the second portion of the plan. Yet she told me again, “no daddy, put a new diaper on me.” Now by this time I had her laid down on the floor and was taking her pants off, so imagine my surprise when her jeans came down to reveal that there was NO DIAPER on her. Deeply confused I asked the Muppet, “Where is your other diaper??” And she looked at me and calmly told me that she took it off and wiped her bum ALL BY MYSELF!!

It was about that time that I noticed the changing pad on the floor (thank God the material cover was not on it and the vinal cover was showing). It was covered with poo. The diaper was kinda wadded up on it and there were about 7 wet wipes in a poo filled pile on the changing pad. She said to me, “I did it on the changer just like Mommie always does!” with just the right amount of glee in her voice.

After I realized that the wipe up job she did was not comprehensive and that her jeans had serious skid marks on them, I cleaned her up and tried to explain to her that while I appreciated her becoming a “big girl” and that doing most things “all by herself” was commendable - when it came to poopy diapers, maybe we should hold off on the not asking for help thing.

I have no idea if that sank in to her or not. Now that she can get out of her bed with ease she has had some serious nap issues in the afternoon (though she still sleeps through the night like a champ). But to date, I have not had to follow up on her individualized personal efforts of poopy diaper clean up.

I have to give her credit for at least containing her efforts to the changing pad. That made the whole thing a funny blog story instead of a nasty excrement experience for us all. In all the ways that count, she’s a genius. Just ask her - she’ll tell you!