Has it really been almost a month since I posted?? I have been too busy on the ever-lovin’ wifey’s internet presence and have let my own go a bit. I am truly sorry about that to you whom look to the Maru as a constant (or at least consistent) source of…source of…ummm…whatever need it is you have that somehow goes unmet in any other place in your life. I can only imagine how difficult these last few weeks have been on you. Seriously, I can only imagine because I wouldn’t actually know in a personal way. But I am here to empathize with you. I feel your pain. Let’s move on.
So Ferf broke her foot this weekend. Yep. Broke her right foot - and know I don’t mean she broke it off in my arse. I mean she broke a bone in it. Fracture of the fifth proximal metatarsal.
So now she has a big black air cast boot on her foot. Very sexy. She wears it well - makes it look good.
But how did she break it you ask. I’m glad you asked. She tripped over thin air whilst walking across the bedroom floor. She swears that she tripped over my house shoes, but I think that’s bunk. My house shoes are not something easily tripped over. They are size 12 after all. How on earth does someone overlook a freaking foot-yacht parked in the middle of the floor? If it were me, I would rather have people believe that I tripped over thin air. But she stands by her story…well, sits by it really. She doesn’t stand so much right now. heehee.
She did it right as I was leaving for the weekend. Friday morning and it is literally 10 minutes before my ride was coming and she takes the dive upstairs and I run up to find her doing a full frontal face plant on our bedroom floor - her head landed 4 inches from the door jam. The good news is that she didn’t brain herself as well. But we got her up and down stairs and her foot elevated and iced. It was already swelling by that time and she couldn’t put weight on it. So she asked me if I could go to the store and get her some crutches before I left. Dutifully I checked on line and made some calls to drug stores and such. No luck. No crutches to be had. I had the dubious honor of letting her know that there would be no crutch based assistance coming. I offered to cancel my trip, but she wanted me to go. When my ride showed up I took my bags out to his car and when he opened his trunk, there was a set of crutches. I asked him if he were planning to get injured to which he responded that they were a set he used after ankle surgery and he was taking them to the Salvation Army. I laughed and took them into the house for Ferf. She used them all weekend and waited until Monday to even go see a doctor. Ahh my wifey. She’s a keeper!
Evidently the Muppet was quite the trooper this weekend. She took care of everything that Ferf needed. She carried food and dishes to Ferf, she brought her drinks and kept the house “tidy”. She did her chores and never once complained. She was awesome. In fact, she tried to do everything. She tried to not only bring Ferf a bottle of extra strength Advil liquid gels, she tried to open them and give her some of them. Unfortunately she was foiled by the child proof lid.
She tried and tried to get the bottle open, but to no avail. Frustrated she handed the bottle to Ferf and told her that she could not get it open. Ferf smiled and told her that it had a safety feature - a child proof lid. The Muppet thought about that for a moment and said “it’s child proof?”
Ferf said, “yes honey…it’s child proof.” Again, the Muppet thought about that and finally said with a deeply sincere look on her face,
“But HOW does it know that I am a child???”
Later I told the Muppet that it is magic, like a thermos. It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold, but nobody knows how it can tell the difference.
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